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Written by Mike
Tuesday, 09 June 2009 07:05
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Do's and Don'ts

Written by Mike

Tuesday, 24 March 2009 05:09

I've tried to compile a list of Do's and Don'ts for those looking to try the ET zone for the first time. I can't catch everything but this should be enough to get you in the door.

Do bring your ID

All dance clubs require it even if you look as old as Clint Eastwood. This is pretty much a no exception rule however you might be lucky enough to purchase your way in with the slick passing of a 500 baht note. The good news is that contrary to rumor you do not need an official passport. As long as you have a real looking ID showing your date of birth you should be okay. For Thais you must have your identity card. Sit down bars and pubs on the other hand will let just about anyone in that appears older than Emmanuel Lewis.

Don't plan on driving

After about 11 pm Ekamai becomes a parking lot of taxis. If you are lucky enough to find parking you'll have a tough time getting back out on a full night. Instead stick with the professional taxi drivers. They've likely downed 6 Red Bulls and are as alert as a ferret so don't worry about safety.

Do bring cash

Most bars accept credit cards but I can't think of any that have ATMs inside. Save yourself the time of the mandatory 3 round-trips required by staff for credit card processing and just carry cash. No one is gonna pick pocket you at the bar so don't be a pansy.

Don't wear sandals

In addition to just looking stupid, most places won't let you in with sandals. If you do happen to sneak in and I see you I'll be sure to accidentally spill a drink on you. Have some class and keep the sandals at home...you shouldn't be wearing them after 10pm anyway.

Do expect deafeningly loud music

While the DJs tend to be more moderate the live bands will leave your head rattling. Occasionally you might see some clubbers with ear plugs and while it might look silly, you'll thank yourself later when you're in your prime bridge playing years at the home.

Don't forget the after hour grub stands

When you leave the bar and have a hankering for rice and noodles you'll have plenty of options to choose from all around Ekamai and Thonglor. What better way to satisfy your drunken gluttony then trying to navigate the maze of puddles, dogs and garbage looking for a fine snack. This is also the best way to meet some last minute friends.

Now you're on your own!

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Liquor Enlightenment

Written by Mike

Tuesday, 24 March 2009 04:49

There's no question that Thailand is a newbie when it comes to the concept of liquor (whisky excepted). Far and away the leader in the field is Scotch Whisky with Johnnie Walker and Chivas dominating the market. Beyond that liquors are known only by brands and my request for a bottle of rum is often met with a blank stare until I point out the Bacardi on the speed rail. Well you're in for a treat because I've done some research and put together a quick reference for the standard 5 that everyone should know. If you're working at a bar and this is new to you then it's time you found another job!

Rum

Oddly enough you'd expect a huge sugar cane exporter like Thailand would have discovered premium rums. Instead and for unknown reasons the two most common locally produced liquors Sangsom and Mekhong are in fact rums masquerading as whiskies. Rum is distilled from sugar cane juice or molasses and typically aged in oak barrels. The most notable rum producing region is the Caribbean and the drink was made famous as the navy's and pirate's beverage of choice even giving rise to the classic "yo ho ho and a bottle of rum". Disney might have had something to do with its fame as well. Rum comes in several varieties including light (i.e used for cocktails), gold and dark. In addition to the standard variations spiced rum is a favorite. Struggling to stay trendy rum is now available in an even greater variety of flavors including lemon, apple, orange, coconut, pineapple, mango, etc. Power rum brands include Captain Morgan and Bacardi but rum is also available as a premium sipping drink to be taken neat or on the rocks. The Dacari is probably the most well-known rum cocktail with the exception of the classic rum and Coke. If you've never ventured beyond a poorly made rum cocktail try a good quality dark rum straight and you'll appreciate it's sweetness.

Tequila

Clearly the Mexican's drink of choice Tequila is distilled from the Blue Agave and is named for the region in which it was originally made. Famous as an ass-kicking shot taken with salt and lemon, premium tequila is also available and meant to be sipped. Tequila comes in several varieties including:

oro ("gold") – un-aged tequila
blanco ("white") or plata ("silver") – un-aged white spirit
reposado ("rested") – aged a minimum of two months, but less than a year in oak barrels
añejo ("aged" or "vintage") – aged a minimum of one year, but less than 3 years in oak barrels
maduro ("extra anejo", "extra aged" or "ultra aged") – aged a minimum of three years in oak barrels

Power tequila brands include Sauza and El Tesoro. Tequila is the primary ingredient in Margaritas, headaches and one night stands.

Gin

Distilled from grain and flavored with juniper berries, gin originated in the Netherlands but was made famous in England which has given rise to power gin brands including Bombay (made by Bacardi), Tanqueray, Beefeater and Gordon's. Gin is made to be dry compared to other liquors and comes in several varieties including standard gin, distilled gin and compound gin with the latter also considered a flavored vodka. Gin is used in many cocktails with the most notable being the Martini and the Singapore Sling and is commonly referred to as "panty stripper" due to it's uncanny ability to go to a woman's head fast. Word to the wise...refrain from using this common name while plying a girl with gin cocktails.

Vodka

Vodka is the world's most popular distilled beverage and can be distilled from anything that can be fermented including potatoes, molasses and grains. With roots in eastern Europe vodka is known as a Russian drink and is available in almost any flavor including lemon, cranberry, orange, lime, apple, passion fruit, etc. Typically drunk neat vodka is also used in many cocktails including the screwdriver, vodka Martini and Bloody Mary. More recently vodka bars have opened offering premium brands at sub-zero temperatures. Power vodka brands include Smirnoff, Stolichnaya and Absolut. Vodka is the most versatile of the bunch and can be mixed with almost any fruit juice or soda. Often going undetected in a well crafted mix, vodka can be flown under the radar.

Whisky

By far the most common liquor available in Thailand, whiskey includes rye, scotch and bourbon and is distilled from fermented grain mash and stored in wooden casks. Whisky is believed to have been first distilled in the middle east but was made famous for it's origins in Europe specifically Scotland. Varieties of whisky include Scotch Whisky, Rye Whisky, Japanese Whisky, Irish Whisky and Bourbon. Legally all Scotch Whisky must come from Scotland. Anyone telling you otherwise is a moron and should immediately have their glass of Mekhong slapped out of their hand. Power whisky brands include Johnnie Walker, Chivas, Dewar's and The Famous Grouse. Often considered a sophisticated drink premium whisky is meant to be drunk neat however several cocktail favorites are made with speed rail whisky including the obvious whisky sour.

While all bars and clubs in Thailand heavily promote whisky most do carry the other 4 liquors and often at more than reasonable prices. Maybe now is the time to drop the poor man's staple of Black Label and stale soda and introduce the ladies to something a bit more exciting like vodka cranberry or gin tonic.

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The FAQ

Written by Mike
Tuesday, 24 March 2009 03:51
We've compiled a list of Frequently Asked Questions to provide you with all the answers you've been searching for all these years. Now you can put your perverse curiousity to rest and get to know the real Mike. Does Mike even live in Thailand? Does Mike speak Thai? Does Mike use hair plugs? Why did Mike start this site? Is Mike half Thai? Is Mike an avid drinker? Does Mike dance? Is Mike a model? Is Mike an actor? Is Mike a mineral? Can I contact Mike for advertising opportunities? Does Mike even live in Thailand? Unlike many farangs who masquerade as expats Mike really is stably employed in Bangkok. All reviews and postings are based on Mike's first-hand accounts of each venue however bear in mind that any references to people and places are purely coincidental as the Ekamai Thonglor Zone is actually a figment of his imagination. Seriously though...yeah he lives here. Does Mike speak Thai? Although Mike has mastered many dialects and languages including Khmer, Laos, Issan, Tagalog and Bahasa, Mike's Thai still needs work. Socially Mike's Thai is about 80% of which 90% is made up of inappropriate phrases, curse words and MK song lyrics. If you're looking for a Dim Sum menu in Thai, Mike's your man. Does Mike use hair plugs? Mike's fur is 100% natural and although it appears flawless it is actually kept together with a series of pulleys, cables and counterweights delicately balanced with a generous helping of bacon fat. Why did Mike start this site? As an expert in many areas including fences, latrines and tree bark, Mike was frequently called on to suggest party destinations for tourists and locals. This knowledge has been extended to a larger audience free of charge for the purpose of shameless self-promotion. Is Mike half Thai? Although Mike's mother claims his father is actually half Native American, Mike is 100% Canadian. Any resemblance to Thai features is thanks to Thai brand whitening cream and several years of som tum. In fact Mike's heritage is predominantly Scottish and although he has foregone the kilt for stylish pants he maintains the commando position on undergarments. Is Mike an avid drinker? Actually Mike seldom drinks in excess instead leveraging the anti-aging properties of diet Coke. He prefers natural brain cell reduction accelerated only by the looney toon farangs he hangs out with in Bangkok. Does Mike dance? Cutting a rug is definitely one of Mike's favorite past-times although after years of struggling to become a coyote dancer Mike has resorted to a more practical outlet using fitness classes and aerobics at the gym. Is Mike a model? Yet another failed career path for Mike, this attempt started in some lame fashion shots of men's underwear for Wal-mart and ended in tears over who got to keep the underwear after the shoot. Mike continues to be open to opportunities and can be contacted for any serious, semi-serious, or simply ludicrous modeling requests. Is Mike an actor? No but he does play one on TV. Often told he bears a striking resemblance to Gary Coleman and frequently mistaken for countless background musicians Mike's TV appearances have been limited to several wedding videos and a series of shorts he and his acting guild produced in high school. Is Mike a mineral? Previously there was another Mike living in Canada that has since been replaced with animatronics. Aside from that any comments reflecting inanimate objects being compared to Mike is purely metaphorical. Can I contact Mike for advertising opportunities? Absolutely! Simply send him an email and he would be thrilled to discuss opportunities for cross-advertising, endorsements, recommendations, reviews, etc. Contact Mike. Read 1 Comments... >>
Last Updated on Tuesday, 24 March 2009 04:11

Follow Mike Sightings with Twitter

Written by Mike

Tuesday, 24 March 2009 03:43

are available on

Now you can stay up to date by subscribing to Mike Sightings on Twitter. Here's a few simple steps to add your mobile phone to my live feed.

Create a new Twitter account

Add your mobile phone

Note: Make sure you select the option to receive messages and complete this process by replying to Twitter's SMS

From your mobile phone send an SMS to Twitter at +447624801423 with "FOLLOW mikemmacd" in the body

- or -

From your Twitter account go to Mike's feed and click "Follow"

Congrats! Now every time I update Mike Sightings you will receive an SMS on your mobile phone. Cool na? You can turn notifications on and off by sending "ON" or "OFF" to +447624801423. In addition Twitter updates can be received by Email, IM or directly off the Twitter site. And best of all it's FREE!

For those looking for step by step instructions follow these steps below: